Annie and James Rushden were man and wife, until James revealed he was transsexual. Annie writes about the experience of falling in love all over again with her partner Claire. Same soul, different gift wrap.

Sunday, April 29, 2007

More about the 20/20 special. Heaviness and hope

Claire and I discussed this show at length, and heard people (in the TG community) talking about the fact that this show was heavy, or really moved them.

At first, when the show came on, Claire commented "Oh, it's about little kids?" not realizing beforehand what the show was about. As it turned out, I think the fact that the show was about young trans kids really helped a lot. Here's why:

Partners of transsexuals and people that just feel they need to demean TG people use the following arguments to vilify them. By showing that children as young as two and a half years of age are in severe emotional distress, the following common arguments are negated:

1. Transitioning is a selfish act. If the TS person loved then they would just deal with it quietly and not break up their family.

You can't say that children are being selfish about relationships at the age of three. Their pain was all too vivid, in the home movies and stories the parents told. What you see there is the amount of pain that is suffered by someone that is transgendered. The only difference is these kids are able to have a good start on their lives by beginning their adult lives with their identity firmly in place, as opposed to people like Claire, like Steve/Susan Stanton, like all the thousands of transsexuals that hide their entire lives out of shame and fear until they can no longer fight the battle.

2. Transsexuals are perverts or fetishists.

This one is obvious. As the spouse of a transsexual, it is so easy for me to understand that being TS is a matter of identity. It has nothing to do with sex. But people see that word nestled in the middle of the word transsexual and all of a sudden, they are lumped in with every perversion in the world. The one that really just rips my heart out is to hear people equate being trans to being a child molester. So, look at a small child. What is perversion when you have no concept of sex itself, but just of body classification and identity? How can a toddler have a fetish?


It breaks my heart to think of Claire hating birthdays as a young child. To see the pain so real and vivid as little Riley breaking down into tears just makes me look at my Claire and wonder how the hell she hung on to her secret as long as she did.

Claire and I believe that the reason that the show was so incredibly powerful is that it strips the arguments away that negate or downplay the pain and suffering that transgender people experience.

It is our hope that somewhere, some parents will see their children--be they young or old--with fresh eyes, and open their hearts and minds.

It is our hope that somewhere, a spouse who sees her partner's struggle with transition to be a selfish and uncaring act will realize that their partner fought valiantly for years to fight pain that is so incredibly visible in early childhood.

It is our sincere hope that somewhere, a child that is suffering will hear of the show, realize there is a name to their condition, and know that there is hope for a real life.

And finally, it is always a deep hope in our hearts that our society can move forth from the position that transgendered people should not be spoken about publicly and into a position of accepting them as the productive and decent citizens they are.

Wishing you peace on earth and good will towards humans,

Annie and Claire

Friday, April 27, 2007

Barbara Walters

I am so thankful tonight for...

  • Barbara Walters
  • 20/20
  • Parents who understand that their transgender children are normal kids with a physical problem and work to get them comfortable
  • The fact that Gender Identity Disorder is finally getting well-known enough that people don't have to hide their whole lives.
  • My Claire, who is so incredibly special
  • Jennifer Finney Boylan, who had the guts to write such a personal book that brings tremendous warmth, tears and laughter, and who's book was seen in the show tonight as giving guidance to some parents
  • The tears that were finally able to flow tonight, watching that program
  • All the people, who's lives are not touched personally by transgender issues, but have the courage to step up and be decent and enlighten others

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Old Mike, New Christine - LA Times sports reporter comes out as TS

In his article here, Mike Penner of the Los Angeles Times wrote today that he will be taking a vacation and coming back as Christine Daniels.

Not only do I applaud Mike Penner for his bravery in finally coming out of hiding and enlightening the world as he does so, but his column was so wonderful and well written.

I'm thrilled that the LA Times is so supportive, and is planning on welcoming Christine with open arms. In a few weeks, Christine will be living Claire's dream--being her true self at last.

God speed, Christine, we look forward to your debut!

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Gender games, continued

So, I'm trying to get away from wearing 5.11 ATACS (tactical boots) and BDUs to work. I work as a network administrator for a large organization, and they've accepted me for who I am. Heck, I wore combat boots to my job interview. You just never know when you'll need to be appropriately dressed to respond to an emergency at work, right?

So today, I went to work in linen pants and a tailored pale blue woman's shirt, with brown kitten heels. I was noticed by some coworkers who asked me what the heck was going on with dressing somewhat girly. One coworker, Sean, (always a quick one with the jokes) told the others not to move too quickly, lest they scare me back into black clothing and 5.11s.

I just joked with them that my spouse and my mom were trying to get me to dress like a real girl, and rolled my eyes. Sean then made the comment that if I didn't have kids, he'd wonder about me.

Oh, if he only knew!

Nothing much else happening right now. I've been working on some jewelry and writing my novel. I'm really enjoying writing urban fantasy. It may never get published, but at least I'll have tried. I'm an hour late for bed, but I hit the 5000 word mark, so I'm happy.



Monday, April 23, 2007

Damn that Mary Kay...

Claire hates me now. And the irony is killing me.

We were out Saturday taking pictures of a festival in our town and several vendors had booths set up. One booth was for Mary Kay, which I noticed immediately because Claire was poking me in the ribs hissing "Mary Kay, Mary Kay!" in my ear. They had a huge gift basket they were giving away as a prize. So I entered my name hoping to win it for Claire. Since Claire was dressed in androgynous mode, and we were in our home town, it wasn't prudent to have her enter as her own name.

Well, guess who called tonight. Yup. The Mary Kay salesperson. I had given her my cell phone number, which has never--in a whole year--had reception at my house. Well, the damn thing rang. At my house. And when I answered it, the phone had a good connection and didn't lose it even though I moved around trying to drop the connection. I didn't win the basket, but I did win a "pampering session" and a free lipstick or gloss.

Of course I did. Because, see, I never win anything I actually want! I have as much interest in getting my colors read or getting a facial as well... as getting a free lipstick. I'm a tomboy. Color things on faces are not my speed. Now, Claire on the other hand is beside herself, because she would love, love, LOVE that.


So... I know that "pampering sessions" are often used by Mary Kay to hook new customers, so I know that part is not much, but waving a free lipstick at Claire is likely to inspire her to ask her partner to do whatever it takes to get it.

She wants me to go.

She wants to come "hang out" and get tips. While I pretend to be having fun getting *gasp* makeup applied to my face.

I don't know if I love her THAT much.

We had an exchange a few minutes ago that went like this (bear in mind we're cracking up laughing the entire time)
Claire: "Bitch. You stole my makeover."
Me: "I don't even want the stupid thing! That's torture! I'm NOT going."
Claire: "You have to. I want to hear the TIPS."
Me: "No way chickie, I'm not getting tortured for you."
Claire: "I hope you get fat overnight!" *flounces off laughing*

She cracks me up. I don't know if it's a good idea to ask someone in our small hick town if she's TG friendly, because Claire will obviously get outed if she isn't. But it would be so much fun to go somewhere local and do something. Perhaps I will go and pretend I'm interested and let Claire "help me pick out a color or two". Perhaps we should just book something out of town. I hate that she has to hide in plain sight still.

I don't know anything about Mary Kay cosmetics, so if anyone has some feedback I'd love to hear it. Is Mary Kay worth the money? Not having a MAC counter anywhere nearby, is Merle Norman better?

In the meantime, she better stop throwing pillows at me.



Sunday, April 22, 2007

Spousal Support...

So today I have to rant about something. If you are transgendered, there are several support sites that you can use. My Husband Betty, Crossdressers.com, and other sites are available to the transgendered and their SOs (significant others). There are many private groups that only GGs (Genetic Girls) can belong to as a support group.

Unfortunately, SO support forums (and I have joined several) tend to be extremely negative, and that's not what I want. I don't want a list that fills my inbox with negativity. I want a place where I can ask for and give advice, talk about things, and get feedback to help elevate me into a good place while dealing with this. If I need support and encouragement, then the last thing I want is hate and misery. A support group should allow people to voice concerns and fears and get reassurance and support.

I want to help SOs that are having trouble. I love to help people. That's why I volunter with the fire department. But I don't want a place where someone posts a problem and 20 people respond with "hell yeah, kick him to the curb!" and try to one-up each other on how awful their lives are. I am a big believer in surrounding yourself with positive energy, and I just can't bring myself to join in groups that allow so much bashing to go on. It is unhealthy and unproductive. It also scares me, because partners that are new to the "married to a TS" experience are scared and need guidance. If they are on the fence of staying or leaving a marriage, and all they see are bitter posts stating that all TS people are self-centered jerks, it could really affect a marriage. I just want to get on a soapbox and yell "hey wait, not everyone is miserable!"

Now, if a partner has always been a selfish jerk and is now being a selfish jerk in transition, that's not a trans issue. In that case, you're with a jerk that's making you miserable, so yeah, leave. I left one--not in transition, just a egocentric jerk. It was hard, but I survived rebuilding my life and career with small kids. Divorce sucks, but so does staying in a relationship that kills you, emotionally or physically.

If Claire was nasty, abusive, uncaring, self-centered and made me miserable, then I wouldn't be here. I would be gone from the marriage. I am not required to stay because of some perverse rule that I must be supportive. Life's too short to stay with someone you hate, much less support them through transition if they haven't been a fully vested partner themselves.

However, I love Claire ferociously, and she returns the favor. She's kind, sweet, wonderful and afflicted with being trans. Of course I stay and fully engage in this issue. Someday she'll be fully transitioned and things will settle down. We won't have to worry about being outed, about job loss, about hair removal. Then we can kick back and just be ourselves with just normal worldly worries.

My point here is that if you are deeply in love and want to make it work, there is no "SO only" place to go that will elevate you towards your goal, no place where you can express pain and get *helpful* feedback on dealing with an issue. If I have a question about hormones and what to expect, I don't want "If my spouse changes his plumbing I'm outta here" type responses, I want normal thoughtful repsonses. If someone knows of that place, where people that do love and cherish their partners go to ask questions and get support gather, please let me know. In the meantime, I shall continue doing it my way: with research, buddhist approaches to life, and deep honest conversations with Claire.

Dealing with a relationship that is in transition is like swimming to safety with your best friend making sure you both keep your heads above water. A negative only support group is a cement block tied to your ankles.



Saturday, April 21, 2007

Showdown: Handbags at Dawn...

It's been a wild couple of days for handbags...


Friday afternoon Claire and I had a chiropractor appointment. Dr. T was quite funny as usual and said she was dying to see a picture of Claire dressed as a girl. We decided that we'd take some pictures and let Dr. T see what Claire really looks like when she's not in drab.

When we went up to the front office to check out, Dr. T whispered to me to bring a picture in. Which started THIS exchange:

Claire: "You better behave, doc"
Dr. T: "Make me!"
Claire: "All right then..."
Dr. T the triathlete: (flexes bicep) "Check this out"
Claire: "And?"
Dr. T: "Wanna fight?"
Claire: "Okay, handbags at dawn?"

This caused the staff sitting there to drop what they were doing and ponder that statement for a moment while Dr. T stuttered, laughed and said "What?"

One of the ladies in the office said "Purses. Handbags at dawn." This of course made me completely lose it laughing, and Dr. T couldn't come up with a response that wouldn't completely give Claire away to the staff (like they won't guess now). She just exited the room doing half-hearted little kicks at Claire and laughing, telling Claire to behave.


Fast forward to today at Target. We're shopping quietly for clothes in the women's section. Claire is dressed androgynously, and we're playing it cool as we shop. That is, until we get to the handbag section.

Now, the handbag section is directly across an aisle from the fairly crowded women's section. Claire starts looking at some bags on a rack next to the aisle and picks up a really cute hobo and remarks "nice bag."

Not so bad, you might think. You'd be wrong. Because then I said, in my not so demure voice, "Oh yeah, that's cute! It's a lot like your MUDD hobo."

It was an "Oh my God. Did I just do that?" moment. We both busted out laughing. I don't know how many people overheard that, but it was damn funny.

Ah well. Yeah, deep stealth is all in our heads right now. The whole world knows ;)



Thursday, April 19, 2007

More from the random pile...

We watched the best of the GLAAD awards tonight. I am so proud to be part of the LGBT community, and I'm not afraid to say it. I proudly display the HRC equality sticker on the door of my office. Although Claire is still in hiding I am not afraid to educate my peers about the civil rights issues the community faces. The other day my friend and I walked past a jewelry store that had the HRC sticker on the window. The shop owner stood outside fiddling with a sign as we passed, and I commented on his display of the HRC sticker. He returned the favor by rewarding me with a big infectious grin.


So... I am Bi, and Claire identifies as Lesbian and is Trans... thus we're a BLT. ;)


I'm in awe of the strength, beauty and grace of Matthew Shepard's mother, Judy, for being such a spokesperson for hate crime legislation.


Have you ever heard the song Shiny Happy People by R.E.M.? That would be Claire on a new patch. She swears she gets a rush about 6 hours after a new estrogen patch is put on, and from my observations, it does seem to be true. Psychosomatic or not, it's a funny thing to observe. Bouncing all around the house, humming, singing, attacking me with a stuffed bear... and now because I said I'm writing this on the blog she's singing the Tigger song.

Ah, but it's good to have her really alive, even if she is an obnoxious git sometimes. ;)



Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Fire...(sing with me now)

So, the last two days I have spent my non-job time on a big fire scene. We've been battling a forest fire that has been devouring acres around the scattered subdivisions near our home. I can't get the smell of smoke out of my hair, all I can taste is ash, and I feel great. Our department is great. We lost no structures and nobody got hurt. About 300 acres was lost though. Forestry allowed a lot of underbrush to burn as we made sure it didn't jump roads and endanger houses. We did have to evacuate quite a few homes, but all was good in the end.

I saw my friend from the forestry agency tonight, exhausted but happy. He thinks they finally have it under control. They better, cause I want a quiet night with my Claire tomorrow ;)

Meanwhile, at the house, I missed Claire's big payoff from laser torture--I mean treatment--while I was at the scene. Apparently she started shedding hairs tonight. I'm pretty bummed I missed it, but I'm glad I worked the fire tonight, as we were fairly short on staff.

So, her face is so soft and smooth now after her shave. I would say it's kissable but I got a "go take a shower stinky" reaction when I got home, so I didn't get to try the kissable test yet. NOT that I blame her, I reek of smoke. Although I still see some hair under the skin, and she had to shave a lot still, she's never had a shave this smooth. It's pretty exciting. I'm hoping she'll have fantastic results. She's a sweetie and it hurt like hell, so I'm crossing my fingers for her.

Tomorrow we'll try applying normal makeup instead of Dermablend and see how it does. I can't wait!

Saturday, April 14, 2007

what a hoot!

I don't know how I managed to take this shot,
it was a snap without thinking or having time
to get focused correctly as I was jumping back.
Posted by Picasa

Of wolves and women...

When Claire and I first met, online, her nickname was Whitewolf. My nickname was Timberwolf. We've both had a lifelong love of wolves. Today, we went to a local animal sanctuary that has a small pack of timber wolves. Claire brought her spiffy new camera and we headed in to try to get some nice pictures.

Well, first we met a falconer, with a lovely female barred owl on his arm. As Claire snapped shots of the owl, she looked at Claire and launched into flight - right at her. Claire snapped the picture as the owl took flight. Quite a shot. It's a bit blurry but an amazing picture.

Then we hit the wolves. They were all at the back sleeping, and had been doing so for a while apparently, judging by the comments of the other people trying for a look. Well, in one of those "the universe is amazing" moments as Claire decided she would be left with just telephoto shots of sleeping wolves, everyone left. One wolf woke up, walked directly to us by the fence and posed in every way possible. Claire took some amazing photos of the wolf, and I'm looking at printing them up wall art size.

Now, I'm sure it was all just a coincidence that the wolf just decided to come pose for us, but I just have to wonder.

We walked over to the exhibit with two Florida panthers after that, and had an amazing time phtographing them. It was one of those peaceful moments. Nobody else was around, the elevated deck gave us a great view, the wind was blowing gently, the weather was gorgeous, and all the troubles of the world fell away.

All in all, we spent 2 hours at the sanctuary today, and had a wonderful time. It felt great to sign the guestbook as "Annie and Claire Rushden" as we left today.

Friday, April 13, 2007

Steve Stanton's appearance on Larry King Live

Well, it is official. Steve Stanton will not sue Largo, but will be an advocate instead.

Although it would have been great to see the 11th Circuit deal with this before we have to face possible legal battles, I am very glad to know that Steve will be using his story to help raise awareness.

I do wonder if Claire's bosses watched the show tonight. If they did watch, did they connect the dots? Did they see Steve Stanton and think about Claire's nails, hair, voice, etc.? I guess we'll find out.

Once again, a big thanks to the National Center for Lesbian Rights for all they do to help transsexuals. And thanks, Larry King, for being really decent in your interview.



Thursday, April 12, 2007

Overhaul for the blog

It's official. I hate XML now. I'll spare you the cussing. I gave the blog a facelift today, and I think I like it. I hated trying to write a custom template for the first time, more so because the new version of Blogger uses XML and CSS only. CSS isn't so bad, but XML and working with the widgets, well... bah humbug. The picture in the banner is from one of Claire's gorgeous photographs. I think I love the colors, but I'm pretty funny about web stuff. I'm likely to be keen on it today and hate it by tomorrow. I do love the full screen view though. I hate scrolling when there is empty space on the screen. I'd love to know what you think.

I grabbed a new avatar for my profile, simply because it was so darn cute. Really, who can resist a sleeping kitten? Add a little toy and you've got me hooked.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007


Claire is experiencing an in-between stage right now.

It is quite beautiful. As she lounges around the house in the evening, she wears white linen drawstring pants and a soft pink t-shirt showing the womanly shape that is developing. Her bare feet--that she was always ashamed to show before transition--show polished nails and a dainty anklet. The ever present smile that lights her eyes warms my heart.

The contrast of this with the beard shadow that is lingering from the laser treatment does a funny little disconnect in my brain that just makes me stop and ponder her. She shines with an amazing beauty as she really settles into being herself. It is very amazing to watch the transformation to her true self, both from a scientific point of view and as her spouse.

I think that transition has, so far, been a very emotional process for me. I have seen an unhappy, self-loathing spouse bust out of a coccoon and spread her wings. It doesn't take much for me to flash back and remember the lost and depressed shell that she used to be.

There is something in the eyes of those that have transitioned. I've seen it in many photographs. A deep sense that they are truly at home in their new skin. Sometimes playful, mostly serene. Their new bodies may not ever be "perfect" having suffered the ravages of puberty with the wrong hormones, but it is the right skin, and it is perfect on them.

I'm apparently not the only one that sees this. There is an absolutely amazing slide show here. Jana Marcus has done an amazing job of photographing transmen and transwomen. Jana really captures that something that I try to hard to describe. Please take a moment and visit. It will be worth your time.



Monday, April 9, 2007

Liar, Liar

So, they say lightning doesn't strike in the same place twice.
They Lied!
Lightning struck about 200 times ........ on my face.

I don't want to say that having my first laser hair removal session was painfull, I really don't want to say it. But it hurt like hell, like hell was opening it's gates and shooting me in the face two hundred times with electrified bolts of pure pain.

Yeah, I hear you, I'm a wuss.

But this wuss managed to lay/shake through the whole damn session, like the Rebel Alliance taking out the DeathStar.

Surprisingly I was fairly calm on the drive in and while waiting my turn to be tortured, umm, I mean treated.

I expected it to hurt but apparently my research on the removal of facial hair failed to show that having a lot of coarse dark hair on the face and neck would result in my being zapped by rejected/failed Star Wars missile defense system that apparently was procured from eBay (thanks a lot Google). (Just kidding, I'm sure the machines were purchased from the proper sources).

On the plus side the fact that I was able to go and have the session at all is a tribute to the hormones coursing through my veins and that I am actually enjoying the result of my lungs breathing air in and out these days.

1 session down only 5-8 to go.

I can do this, no I can! Seriously ... well..... one zap erm session at a time and thankfully it's not for another 9 weeks.


Sunday, April 8, 2007

Saturday at Ideal Image

Yesterday, Claire had her first laser hair removal session. It turned out to be a lot more painful than they described. Her face is still red today, and looks like she has a pretty fair sunburn. We'll see how it goes over the next few weeks.

Things I learned yesterday:

* Laser hair removal is very painful. It's amazing to watch the power of the laser, vaporizing the hair poking above the skin, but the pain with every pulse jumped straight from her skin to my heart.

* Watching my sweetheart struggle against pain, the hormonal surges that make tears come easily, and doctor anxiety in general is really hard. She held it together but I know my eyes leaked a couple of times.

* She has a strong grip, but even in pain she has the self control to keep from squeezing my hand too hard.

Things I already knew but were reaffirmed:

* I'm very proud of her for facing the demons that have haunted her for so long, mainly the phobias that have resulted from internalizing the discomfort in her body for 3 decades. She's gone from having to be treated for shock for simple blood tests to walking in a preparing to face 30 minutes of pain.

* She's the most beautiful woman I've ever met.

Thursday, April 5, 2007

Deep thoughts...

When Claire starts living full time as a woman and she or I apply for a job in our new city, we will be legally able to mark married on the employee information sheets. When it comes to benefits, etc., I wonder if we'll have to explain everything to HR, insurance companies, etc. to make them understand why we can say that?

Better yet, will America wake up and recognize at least civil union before then? I sure hope so.

I caught myself almost telling Claire's coworker today that I had been trying to reach "her" on "her" cell phone. I think I caught myself anyway... guess she'll find out tomorrow!

Warren Beaty insists he is the subject of Carly Simon's "You're So Vain" song. I hate that song. I think I hate it because it's so illogical. "You're so vain, you probably think this song is about you." Umm, hey Carly, the song is about him. I don't know why that song gets to me, but it always has. I think I actually snarl when I hear it. It's pretty funny looking when I snarl, I assure you.

On the other hand, the song "I'm just a girl" is my anthem. I can't help but dance when we play it here at home. For the record, I can't dance worth a crap, being a product of the punk rock revolution. I can, however, slamdance like a pro.

What is it about dogs that just melt your heart when they look at you with big brown eyes?

Laser hair removal session #1 is on Saturday. Poor Claire. Being British - and a bit strange thanks to said nationality - she said she can't help but think of the James Bond movie (GoldenEye) with laser beams shooting down from outer space.

One of our online friends has her first full day at work as a woman Friday. I hope her day is fabulous. It sounds as if her workplace has been very receptive so far. Good luck Phoebe!



Wednesday, April 4, 2007

First trip to the chiropractor without the closet

We had a great visit with the chiropractor today. Claire was seriously stressed that the doctor that had been such a good friend for so many years might not be comfortable with her transgender status, now that she knew "the secret."

Needless to say, my faith in the doc's character was well rewarded. Not only was she comfortable, she was a riot. We fielded what felt like 100 questions, and laughed the entire time. Our doc is a special person: funny, mischievous, blunt, and very bright. We were asked about everything from when I found out to asking if Claire was you know, going to snip it off. We had a great time, laughed a lot, and Claire was so relieved.

As we left, Claire got a big bear hug before the doc headed off to round up her next victims. I don't think any gesture or phrase could have had a greater impact than that hug.

We arrived home, fed the dogs, microwaved a dinner and settled in for the night. “I’m really glad that she was so okay with this.” Claire said, revealing a somber mood. “It really would have hurt if she had disapproved of me, because I really like her.”

There are moments where the pain and fear are so clear. This is a hell of a process to go through. When you are in this community, you hear endless stories of siblings, parents, best friends, and spouses excommunicating the person going through transition. We have been incredibly lucky so far. We don’t make friends easily, and those we tend to care about are the type of people inclined to not judge. But it is still a very frightening step to take, telling someone you are in the wrong body.



Tuesday, April 3, 2007

The National Center for Lesbian Rights

The National Center for Lesbian Rights is assisting us with an issue right now. I have to say that this organization, like all the others I have dealt with so far in activist issues, is amazing.

I would deeply like to thank the LGB community for adding the T, and dragging the transgender crowd under their wings. There are so many groups out there fighting for equality that it amazes me. The part that really gets me is the fact that these groups like NCLR are just so welcoming to us as a T couple. They are really great people working on a lot of important cases right now, and if you haven't visited their website, you should.

For now, trans couples have a benefit that gay and lesbian relationships don't have, yet. They can marry, or stay married. If nothing changes, Claire and I can stay married after she fully transitions. While I am obviously very happy that the transition doesn't mean we have to divorce or annul our marriage, it brings with me an extra heavy weight that we have something our brothers and sisters don't have.

It makes me redouble my efforts as an activist. While obviously I care about issues that affect us, they pale in comparison to the stories of those kept out of hospital rooms while their partners lay injured or dying, unable to hold their hand, or worse yet, say goodbye. Who the hell is our government to tell us who should be recognized for basic things like car insurance, access to sick partners, or adoption? I have a friend that was separated from his partner because of immigration laws. It makes me angry to think that we the people only have the right to love who politicians deem suitable.

Georgia just stopped an attempt to ban adoptions for the LGBT community. Florida holds firm in refusing to let gay and lesbian couples adopt. They have thousands of children in foster homes or group homes, but God forbid that loving homosexual parents be allowed to offer a safe, loving and centered home for a child. We need more voices. It doesn't take much to join the activist alert lists, and even spending 5 minutes is a help when added up.

Please take a moment and get involved. You may not think it affects you, but odds are you have a family member or a friend that it does affect. And it's just the right thing to do.

Some other great groups:
Human Rights Campaign
Use Google to find your state's Equality group (example)
National Center for Transgender Equality
American Civil Liberties Union

Stupid Girls

I read this in the news today:

Kathy Griffin recently had a captive audience. The red-haired comedian played at the Perryville State Prison Complex in Arizona, which has room for more than 3,400 lonely inmates.

"I did feel very sexy and desirable," Griffin says. "Those prisoners looked at me like no other man did. I don't care how many people they killed."

When I sent this clip to Claire, she responded with "No Kathy, you were a piece of meat in a doghouse, honey." I guarantee you, Kathy, that they weren't dreaming of wooing you over a steak dinner, they were thinking what fun a gang rape would be.

I have long been amazed that women go husband shopping in prisons. I've watched the shows about detention centers and there is always some woman ga-ga over her "new man" she met via pen-pal exchanges. On the last show I watched, a woman was all dolled up in a wedding gown, heading to the prison to marry her "catch" - a lifer in for murder. She met him while doing social visits with her church. Her grandmother was there saying she was glad that her little grandbaby was so "happy".

ARGH! No, grandma, you're supposed to smack the hell out of her and tie her to a chair until the feeling passes, or get her to a counselor.

Are women really this desperate and clueless?

There are days I just want to slap people silly.


Monday, April 2, 2007

Transition issues today.

Claire was stressed this morning. Her eyebrows were more feminine than she was ready for at this stage, and she didn't want to draw attention to herself. We pulled up to the curb in front of her building. She turned to me for a kiss goodbye. As always, I took her face in my hands and kissed her with a long, soft kiss. She flashed me a wan smile, patted my hand, and got out of the car, head hung low.

Inside, she encountered her immediate supervisor, Kayla. “I forgot to bring your ribbon today,” she snipped at Claire. Obviously she and the employee that has been teasing Claire about hair ribbons had been talking.

“No problem, I have my own”

“Nice curls.” This was obviously the start of the pressure to get a haircut.

“Thanks. Annie is jealous of them.”

“Why? She has curly hair.”

“Because,” Claire replied, “I can control mine.”

Okay, so Claire basically called me "Annie of the wild hair" - which I admit is true. I must giggle because I have a mass of long curls I keep hoping will vanish every morning when I wake up. I guess I'll forgive her, because I was so glad to see her having some fun today, even if she didn’t intend to.

The rest of the day was pretty uneventful, except for one incident. When Claire called Barney, Kayla's boss, Barney saw the caller ID and answered “Yes Ma’am?”

Is it just a joke? Or are they on to her? Stay tuned... :)