The tube is out.

She's off the respirator. However, she's in a LOT of pain, since they made her cough deeply. Her surgeon was just in there checking on her.

More later.

Annie

Saturday morning

She's awake this morning, although she obviously can't talk with a breathing tube in. So she was finger spelling to me and kiddo, asking questions. Those big beautiful hazel brown eyes were all the way open a few times, which was a huge relief.

They're taking the tube out in a few minutes, and since it's a HUGE fear factor for her, they're letting kiddo (the combat medic/paramedic) into the ICU to hold her hand and assist. That will be a huge help. Have I mentioned this hospital is wonderful yet?

We said goodbye to Joanna this morning, the wonderful nurse that made sure that Claire was clean shaven today (no makeup allowed, but you know, it's the little things that count). The hospital has little cards that you can fill out for wonderful employees you encounter, and I've filled out two already.

One of the two, a nurse named Kevin, was discussing with Joanna how hard it must be to be this phobic of hospitals when you're trans (and thus eventually needing/wanting final surgery). It was a nice conversation with Joanna, telling her that with a lot of people, surgery just isn't even an option, and that the living full time in the right gender is the most crucial part. It made perfect sense to her.

There have been a few slipups with the he/she pronouns, but that's to be expected when presented with beard shadow and checking on catheters, etc. They usually catch themselves and correct themselves, which is really sweet. They have been all so very kind and respectful here. Even the chaplain, when she came in to see me, used the right pronouns.

Hopefully Claire has turned the corner and will be allowed out of the ICU today. We'd like to get to the point that we can start our shifts, being with her around the clock.

Annie

Update

Surgery went well, but we ran into a snag in recovery. They had trouble getting her to shake off the anesthesia, and after trying Narcan to drop the pain meds off of her and trying everything else (including using a bag to make her breath) they gave in at 5pm and reintubated her, because her blood oxygen levels were worrying low. They went ahead and sedated her and will keep her sedated until tomorrow morning when they will try again.

On a positive note, as many of you know, Claire wasn't able to finish laser before all of this hit, and of course she's stuck now in a hospital with beard shadow. The night ICU nurse was talking to us and asked if it would make claire more comfortable if she shaved it off tonight to make it less visible tomorrow. How's that for just mind-blowing kindness in a hospital?

Well, I'm off to clean up dishes, exercise dogs and collapse for a few hours. Kiddo is sleeping in the ICU waiting room overnight and they plan to have her in the ICU helping when the take the breathing tube out, since it's one of Claire's biggest fears and she'll HAVE to be awake this time.

Love to you all,

Annie

Claire is in surgery

For those of you following, Claire started her surgery to remove that damn 8cm tumor in her chest at at 8:05 eastern. I drove home to let dogs out, and cried the entire 25 minute drive here.

I know why they call it "ripping your heart out" because it felt like a rubber cord was attached to mine, and the further I drove, the deeper the pain was. I'm so terrified. This tumor was discovered in February, and we don't know for sure if its benign or malignant. I'm praying that it will be nothing more than a huge, benign tumor and this will be the end of it.

I'll update when she is out of surgery. Thank you all for supporting her as she led up to this. She had to push through some serious anxiety and panic this morning. As we had to leave her in pre-op, the sound of her heartrate monitor rapidly accelerating when they told us we had to leave about did me in.

**hugs** to you all.

Annie

Elections

Last night we saw Barack Obama elected as President. What an incredible night! There is hope now, with a Democratic majority in house and senate, and with Obama as our leader, that we will finally make inroads into equal rights.

Sadly, Florida and California had to temper excitement with sadness, as hate and discrimination appeared to win over fairness and equality. Why is it so hard for people to allow others to be happy? Why is it allowed that GLBT citizens must be treated unfairly, and penalized, for how they were born?

My sister and brother-in-law are devastated that Obama won. They're calling it the end of the country as they know it. Although they accept Claire for who she is, marriage is for one man, one woman. It boggles my mind that people can be so narrow-minded.

I actually differ a bit from my GLBT friends. They won't rest until gay marriage is legal. I guess I've been exposed to enough of the deep south to know it will never happen, and that we should get civil unions in place. Who you devote your life to in a ceremony should not affect your legal rights. I don't care if Claire and I are united in marriage or civil union, we're together.

Claire enters the hospital on Friday. Because we're legally married, I won't have any trouble with visitation for family. But it just really brings forth the fact that my good friends that are "just" gay or lesbian don't have this same right. And that bothers me. Very deeply.

It's time for change. I hope Obama delivers.

Some things I have to share with you.

Some lighthearted election fun:

You have to check out these buttons - I love them!

And this:

Asking for community feedback on hospital experiences

If anyone in the TS community has had any experience being a patient at St. Joseph's hospital in Atlanta, would you please contact me?

After a really bad experience (extreme disrespect and bad treatment) at another hospital, we'd kind of like to know what others have experienced at this one before we attempt to schedule a surgery.

Thanks!

Annie